I Need a J-O-B

I'm trying to go back to work, but I'm being thwarted at every turn. I interviewed for the cytogenetics job a few weeks ago, and although the interview went well, I left with a bad feeling about the job. I couldn't quite put my finger on what the problem was, because it looked and sounded very interesting. It was just a vague feeling of unease. It just felt wrong, and the Vansome and I are both firm believers in trusting our gut instincts about things, so after we discussed it for a couple of days, we decided I should turn down the second interview. I did, but man, that was hard to do. I felt literally sick at my stomach after I hung up the phone. I know it was the right decision, but I am in no position to be turning down employment opportunities.

I felt much better about it a couple of weekends ago when I attended the local annual cytology conference. I talked to old friends who knew others who had worked in that lab and the general concensus was that I had been right to trust my gut. The funny thing was, no one has been able to explain what was wrong with the job. Everyone just kind of felt like I did. The supervisor seemed to be a great guy, and liked by everyone I've talked to. The employees all seemed happy to be there. The job itself looked challenging enough to keep it from being boring. They do seem to have a lot of employee turnover, and that's usually a bad sign.

I hope that God was telling me no on that job because He has something better for me. I'm looking into the molecular lab at the Med Center. I talked to a former cytology school classmate at the conference. He's the cytology lab supervisor there now. The molecular lab is right next door to him so he knew who I should talk to. I called him this morning so I could get the ball rolling, and he said he had already told the supervisor to expect me. I was really excited and extremely grateful. I have been temporarily thwarted, though, because she's out of the lab until Thursday. So that means I have nothing really to do until then.

Hopefully, once I talk to her, things will move really fast. I am really ready to get back to work. I needed the two and a half years to de-tox, but I am fully recovered and anxious to get back into the working world. As little as two months ago, I was dreading the idea of going back to work. I really didn't know if I was capable of working a full time job again. I still felt like I needed more time at home. But now, I'm looking forward to it, and not just the paycheck. I don't feel that pull to be home, and I think that is due in a large part to knowing that The Boy is not here waiting for me. I'm ready to start my next new life.


I emailed The Boy this morning, but I'm not going to call again until tomorrow afternoon. I'm less sad today. I'm feeling a little more of a sense of freedom. And the excitement over the job prospect is helping.